I love film.
Here is where I will log and review all of the films I watch in 2012. Before the world ends, and everything, you know.
Rear Window
Alfred Hitchcock, 1954
4.3/5
My goodness, I love Hitchcock. Another fantastic thriller that had me holding my face, pulse pounding in my ears with anxiety. His films are like a game of chess; crafty and restrained, requiring scrutiny, attention to detail, until the plan becomes apparent and all you can do is watch your king fall. This is a must see!Also, this isn’t the official poster, I just thought it was cool. The offish poster, if you’re curious, is here. 

Rear Window

Alfred Hitchcock, 1954

4.3/5

My goodness, I love Hitchcock. Another fantastic thriller that had me holding my face, pulse pounding in my ears with anxiety. His films are like a game of chess; crafty and restrained, requiring scrutiny, attention to detail, until the plan becomes apparent and all you can do is watch your king fall. This is a must see!

Also, this isn’t the official poster, I just thought it was cool. The offish poster, if you’re curious, is here

Fahrenheit 9/11
Michael Moore, 2004
4.0/5
I always hesitate to comment on films such as these, as they tend to elicit POLAR oppositional opinions, and somewhere along the line of debate, someone will start to get defensive. Or start to yell. Or start to tackle someone. Or start to throw your cat. So that’s when I sink into my chair and pretend my fingernails are super interesting… I avoid it. 
But this film had me bouncing on the couch, waving my fist at the screen, shaking my head with a dropped jaw, ready to march over to George Bush’s house and give him a piece of my mind. It would be a long march, but worth it. My favourite Bush quote? “Ah baleeve thet… the fiyush… ayund the peeple… kin coexist peacefully.” … The fish and the people can coexist peacefully. Jesus F. Christ, I wish I had thought of that. The fish have been on our tails since the late crustacean… (see what I did there?)Anyway, I fucking LOVE Michael Moore. He is cunning, devious, persuasive, hilarious, involved, perceptive, and terribly good at twisting people’s words to work for his purposes, and to me, that is brilliant. I wish I had been a politically-conscious twelve year old and had gone to see this in theatres only three years after 9/11 itself. Watch it. If you care at all about politics, war, America, Canada, Iraq, Afghanistan, Bush-hating, or humour, watch it. (It’s on Netflix, fellow Canadians!) 

Fahrenheit 9/11

Michael Moore, 2004

4.0/5

I always hesitate to comment on films such as these, as they tend to elicit POLAR oppositional opinions, and somewhere along the line of debate, someone will start to get defensive. Or start to yell. Or start to tackle someone. Or start to throw your cat. So that’s when I sink into my chair and pretend my fingernails are super interesting… I avoid it. 

But this film had me bouncing on the couch, waving my fist at the screen, shaking my head with a dropped jaw, ready to march over to George Bush’s house and give him a piece of my mind. It would be a long march, but worth it. My favourite Bush quote? “Ah baleeve thet… the fiyush… ayund the peeple… kin coexist peacefully.” … The fish and the people can coexist peacefully. Jesus F. Christ, I wish I had thought of that. The fish have been on our tails since the late crustacean… (see what I did there?)

Anyway, I fucking LOVE Michael Moore. He is cunning, devious, persuasive, hilarious, involved, perceptive, and terribly good at twisting people’s words to work for his purposes, and to me, that is brilliant. I wish I had been a politically-conscious twelve year old and had gone to see this in theatres only three years after 9/11 itself. Watch it. If you care at all about politics, war, America, Canada, Iraq, Afghanistan, Bush-hating, or humour, watch it. (It’s on Netflix, fellow Canadians!)
 

Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Woody Allen, 2008
3.0/5
Holy Hotness, this film is so filled with beautiful people that if you are anything less than a five star stunner, you may end up with a sore self-esteem button post-viewing. But don’t worry, you’re all five star stunners to me. :) This film is pure Woody Allen. It’s Woody Allen poured into a complex beaker system, boiled, evaporated, condensed into a clear liquid, and transfered to a film strip. His signature dialogue (self-reflective, tangential, rambly), his signature storyline (lover’s complications), his signature actors (he fricken LOVES Scarlett Johansson), his signature music (culturally fitted, cheeky, upbeat), his signature signature. Need I go on?It’s a film fun to get lost in: artists, lovers, sex, Barcelona, spanish accents, gorgeous scenery, beautiful people, etc. But overall, I mean, it’s nothing revolutionary.  

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Woody Allen, 2008

3.0/5

Holy Hotness, this film is so filled with beautiful people that if you are anything less than a five star stunner, you may end up with a sore self-esteem button post-viewing. But don’t worry, you’re all five star stunners to me. :)

 This film is pure Woody Allen. It’s Woody Allen poured into a complex beaker system, boiled, evaporated, condensed into a clear liquid, and transfered to a film strip. His signature dialogue (self-reflective, tangential, rambly), his signature storyline (lover’s complications), his signature actors (he fricken LOVES Scarlett Johansson), his signature music (culturally fitted, cheeky, upbeat), his signature signature. Need I go on?

It’s a film fun to get lost in: artists, lovers, sex, Barcelona, spanish accents, gorgeous scenery, beautiful people, etc. But overall, I mean, it’s nothing revolutionary.  

Strike 
Sergei Eisenstein, 1925
2.8/5
I suppose the first thing to know before watching this film, is that the title is a little more literal than you may have hoped. Now, a fist doesn’t necessarily physically come out of the screen and strike you in the face, but it does feel like it at times. A famous Russian director, Eisenstein is considered to be the “Father of Montage,” a fundamental editing technique that combines various shots to condense time, space, and information. His theory of montage argued that conflict (aka contrast) between shots was essential to inspire an emotional or intellectual response from a viewer. While there are some indisputably effective moments produced by this notion (for example, shots of a violent riot cross-cut with a live cow being slaughtered (which is bloody, shocking and GROSS, by the way)), it does get a bit tiring, and the film becomes quite repetitive. Additionally, Eisenstein will stop at NOTHING to make you hate capitalists with a burning passion. Holy Marxist evangelism much?Side note: Eisenstein LITERALLY looks like the love child of Frankenstein and Einstein.  

Strike 

Sergei Eisenstein, 1925

2.8/5

I suppose the first thing to know before watching this film, is that the title is a little more literal than you may have hoped. Now, a fist doesn’t necessarily physically come out of the screen and strike you in the face, but it does feel like it at times. A famous Russian director, Eisenstein is considered to be the “Father of Montage,” a fundamental editing technique that combines various shots to condense time, space, and information. His theory of montage argued that conflict (aka contrast) between shots was essential to inspire an emotional or intellectual response from a viewer. While there are some indisputably effective moments produced by this notion (for example, shots of a violent riot cross-cut with a live cow being slaughtered (which is bloody, shocking and GROSS, by the way)), it does get a bit tiring, and the film becomes quite repetitive. Additionally, Eisenstein will stop at NOTHING to make you hate capitalists with a burning passion. Holy Marxist evangelism much?

Side note: Eisenstein LITERALLY looks like the love child of Frankenstein and Einstein.  

Easier With Practice 
Kyle Patrick Alvarez, 2009
3.5/5

This was a very interesting film. I didn’t exactly have any type of emotional response to it, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it did end up being a little forgettable. The film paints a bleak image — aesthetically, it is plain, a little grungy, with only a handful of genuinely beautiful shots. However, this mediocrity, mundaneness, average seemed to fit its content perfectly: an unsociable writer struggling through his isolation finds himself emotionally invested in a woman he met over a single phone sex conversation. Love the idea, and I loved Brian Geraghty (he looks like one of my best friends!), but I was a little put off by the twist at the end. It was realistic and compelling, but a slight let down that caused my opinion of the rest of the film to shift. Do watch it, but I am guessing it’s the kind of film people only need to see once. 

Easier With Practice 

Kyle Patrick Alvarez, 2009

3.5/5

This was a very interesting film. I didn’t exactly have any type of emotional response to it, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it did end up being a little forgettable. The film paints a bleak image — aesthetically, it is plain, a little grungy, with only a handful of genuinely beautiful shots. However, this mediocrity, mundaneness, average seemed to fit its content perfectly: an unsociable writer struggling through his isolation finds himself emotionally invested in a woman he met over a single phone sex conversation. Love the idea, and I loved Brian Geraghty (he looks like one of my best friends!), but I was a little put off by the twist at the end. It was realistic and compelling, but a slight let down that caused my opinion of the rest of the film to shift. Do watch it, but I am guessing it’s the kind of film people only need to see once. 

The Birds
Alfred Hitchcock, 1963
4.3/5

Suspense, apprehension, anticipation: Hitchcock is a master. If you’re able to examine this film in the context of its era, and are able to overlook the fact that sometimes you can tell they’re throwing stuffed birds at Tippi Hedren’s face, this film will make an ornithophobiac out of you. It did for me — but I do have a long running history of crow-hatred. In any case, this film will surprise you with some genuinely funny moments, and then hit you with some serious tension that will leave you involuntarily white-knuckled and squinty-eyed. Coincidentally, it’s Tippi Hedren’s 82nd birthday today! Happy Birthday!

The Birds

Alfred Hitchcock, 1963

4.3/5

Suspense, apprehension, anticipation: Hitchcock is a master. If you’re able to examine this film in the context of its era, and are able to overlook the fact that sometimes you can tell they’re throwing stuffed birds at Tippi Hedren’s face, this film will make an ornithophobiac out of you. It did for me — but I do have a long running history of crow-hatred. In any case, this film will surprise you with some genuinely funny moments, and then hit you with some serious tension that will leave you involuntarily white-knuckled and squinty-eyed. 

Coincidentally, it’s Tippi Hedren’s 82nd birthday today! Happy Birthday!

Being John Malkovich 
Spike Jonze, 1999
???/5

Hey y’all! Have you ever looked into the mirror and thought, I want my brain to ‘splode right now? Have you ever wanted to be mindfucked to the point of all-systems-shutdown? Well, I’ve got the perfect film for you. So… I mean, it was written by Charlie Kaufman and directed by Spike Jonze. It’s simple math, really. Weird + Weird =  WWeeiirrdd. I’m still deciding what I think of it. There are so many layers, so much previously un-thought territory at play here that I can’t help but just gawk at the fact that someone actually had the mind to come up with this. But with that said, it’s pretty fucking brilliant! The idea of inhabiting someone else’s consciousness is insane in itself, but add losing your own sense of identity in the process and using that consciousness for immortality to that whole mix and you’ve got a film. Now, to make it Kaufman and Jonze-y, just add puppets, chimpanzees, John Malkovich, portals, and half-offices. What in the royal fuck.  Sidenote: I love Catherine Keener and she is a knockout in it.  

Being John Malkovich 

Spike Jonze, 1999

???/5

Hey y’all! Have you ever looked into the mirror and thought, I want my brain to ‘splode right now? Have you ever wanted to be mindfucked to the point of all-systems-shutdown? Well, I’ve got the perfect film for you. 

So… I mean, it was written by Charlie Kaufman and directed by Spike Jonze. It’s simple math, really. Weird + Weird =  WWeeiirrdd. I’m still deciding what I think of it. There are so many layers, so much previously un-thought territory at play here that I can’t help but just gawk at the fact that someone actually had the mind to come up with this. But with that said, it’s pretty fucking brilliant! The idea of inhabiting someone else’s consciousness is insane in itself, but add losing your own sense of identity in the process and using that consciousness for immortality to that whole mix and you’ve got a film. Now, to make it Kaufman and Jonze-y, just add puppets, chimpanzees, John Malkovich, portals, and half-offices.

What in the royal fuck.  

Sidenote: I love Catherine Keener and she is a knockout in it.  

Midnight in Paris
Woody Allen, 2011
3.8/5
I actually had no idea what this film was about going into it, and I’m so glad that was the case. Anyone who hasn’t seen it stop reading right now so that you experience the surprise like I did. Being an English major, these big literary and art world names get tossed around like kiddies in a bouncy castle, but we never seem to understand the writers past their status as writers. A biography is a biography is a biography. In Midnight in Paris, an exciting, humanizing new light is shed on these figureheads: we get to see them as living PEOPLE interacting with other PEOPLE, faults, virtues, ticks and all. I found it refreshing, and exciting. I was a little surprised that Owen Wilson was the lead, but he ended up being rather charming and fit the role nicely. I watch a lot of Woody Allen films, and I know his dialogue style to a tee, and this film was no exception. If you love the classics, the jazz age, Paris, writers, painters, etc., see this film. If you don’t then u’ll be liek wtf i have noooo idea wut this movie is about bitchezz lets go watch jerzey shore.P.S. Adrien Brody comes in as Dali and it is the best part in the movie hands down and you will want to hug him.

Midnight in Paris

Woody Allen, 2011

3.8/5

I actually had no idea what this film was about going into it, and I’m so glad that was the case. Anyone who hasn’t seen it stop reading right now so that you experience the surprise like I did.

Being an English major, these big literary and art world names get tossed around like kiddies in a bouncy castle, but we never seem to understand the writers past their status as writers. A biography is a biography is a biography. In Midnight in Paris, an exciting, humanizing new light is shed on these figureheads: we get to see them as living PEOPLE interacting with other PEOPLE, faults, virtues, ticks and all. I found it refreshing, and exciting. I was a little surprised that Owen Wilson was the lead, but he ended up being rather charming and fit the role nicely. I watch a lot of Woody Allen films, and I know his dialogue style to a tee, and this film was no exception. If you love the classics, the jazz age, Paris, writers, painters, etc., see this film. If you don’t then u’ll be liek wtf i have noooo idea wut this movie is about bitchezz lets go watch jerzey shore.

P.S. Adrien Brody comes in as Dali and it is the best part in the movie hands down and you will want to hug him.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Kevin Smith, 2008
2.6/5

Meh. I mean, yeah okay, CUTE. But, meh. I do love Seth Rogan. Maybe I have a painfully dry sense of humour, or maybe I was just not in the right mood, or maybe Mars wasn’t aligned with Saturn and the Earth’s rotation was off that day, but, the title says it all. SPOILER ALERT: they make a porno. The end. Thanks everybody, have a great night. 

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Kevin Smith, 2008

2.6/5

Meh. I mean, yeah okay, CUTE. But, meh. I do love Seth Rogan. Maybe I have a painfully dry sense of humour, or maybe I was just not in the right mood, or maybe Mars wasn’t aligned with Saturn and the Earth’s rotation was off that day, but, the title says it all. SPOILER ALERT: they make a porno. The end. Thanks everybody, have a great night. 

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Michel Gondry, 2004
4.0/5

Shut. The. Front. Door. Long story short: been meaning to watch this since the beginning of time, got a broken heart and couldn’t bear to watch movies about breakups (wahwahwah), finally grew some ovaries, loved it. Loved the concept of it, and the execution of it, loved Kate Winslet, loved the rest of the cast, but… Something was missing for me. I think it was the chemistry between Winslet and Carrey. She seemed to have chemistry with him, but he didn’t with her, if that makes sense. Anyway, watch this film, it’s beautiful, and conceptually kick-ass, plus there is multi-coloured hair, chopsticks, and memory loss. What more could you want?P.S. This isn’t the real film poster, it was just one a random graphic designer happened to make, which I came across, and happened to love. Plus this blog has a colour scheme and I am OCD and it fit. So. Shut up. 

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Michel Gondry, 2004

4.0/5

Shut. The. Front. Door.
Long story short: been meaning to watch this since the beginning of time, got a broken heart and couldn’t bear to watch movies about breakups (wahwahwah), finally grew some ovaries, loved it. Loved the concept of it, and the execution of it, loved Kate Winslet, loved the rest of the cast, but… Something was missing for me. I think it was the chemistry between Winslet and Carrey. She seemed to have chemistry with him, but he didn’t with her, if that makes sense. Anyway, watch this film, it’s beautiful, and conceptually kick-ass, plus there is multi-coloured hair, chopsticks, and memory loss. What more could you want?

P.S. This isn’t the real film poster, it was just one a random graphic designer happened to make, which I came across, and happened to love. Plus this blog has a colour scheme and I am OCD and it fit. So. Shut up.